What a crazy time of life this has been for us…moving, growth of business, new church “home (all shared about here). It’s felt like a continual shower of blessings lately!
Through these “winter showers”, I’ve (again!) been learning more about myself and am realizing there are some big imbalances with parts of my thinking. One area specifically…being a “Receiver”. Can’t say it’s been entirely effortless or continual that I have been a total “Giver”, but somehow by doing/giving/”sacrificing”, I’ve justified this misconstrued thought about receiving things:
to be in the giving position than on the receiving end.
When I break down the root of this thinking, what I am really saying is that I believe that I am better, and I can do better than what anyone can give me…including God. I’ve (unknowingly) warped a beautiful thing that God freely releases to me, and have turned it into another area of pride in my life. The pride of “me” being my source.
A tangible example for me…money. I’ve always thought, “If I work hard I can make it. If times get hard, I’ll just take an extra job and push through. I know I can do it: ‘GO ME'”. (Prick a pin to that bubble and it’ll pop pretty fast!). It’s as though I’ve made myself the source of my dependency. Not even considering the One who created everything that I need, I live thinking, “I’ll give what I earn.” Never in the position to receive, always in the position of doing and busy-ing myself and feeding my ego in the process.
In Matthew, Jesus shares how we don’t have to take it all on ourselves:
I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me – watch how I do it.
Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you.
Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.
Again, I come back to this passage (and I can guarantee … it probably won’t be the last!). It’s SO simple, but with that little bit of pride, I complicate it all too quickly.
It’s only my God that can fully take care of me, give me sweet rest, refresh me, TAKE MY BURDENS. If I have been overwhelmed by His blessings already, I can’t even begin to imagine what more He wants to/could lavish upon me when I open my hands and receive all that He gives.
God is changing me and impressing on my heart that blessings don’t just happen in seasons (i.e. winter showers) …
Blessings happen everyday. Now receive.
pic pix: a walk around johnson’s lake, Nov.2010, Banff Area, AB