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capacity.

Do you get to a point where you have just had ENOUGH?  Where everything seems to come to a head at one time and that was the last straw/the bubbling over bit/the tipping point?  Oh, you never do?  Yea, neither do I…ha!  As everything in life goes through cycles, I feel like “patience” is one of those things I feel like I run a cycle with: very patient, somewhat patient, kind of patient, needing patience, what is patience? graced with patience, then I take a pause …. only to repeat.

Before we went on holidays, I was struggling with one of those last parts of the cycle – what is patience?  It seemed like there could be one thing, even the tiniest of problems or changes in plans out of place that would put me over the edge.  I felt like I was surrendering my issues to Jesus, but never felt like I had a reprieve from my hot-tempered emotions.  
Then I read this:
“It’s impossible to give away something you don’t have.  So to give God’s love to others, I needed to receive it myself first.”  Joyce Meyers, The Confident Mom 
Where was my love for my children and husband coming from?  Me.  How was I gauging what could or couldn’t be done/changed?  From MY understanding and strength.
All from my capacity.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my family like something fierce and there is not anything else I treasure so so so very much.  Yet, the most love, patience, peace, understanding, etc that I can give, can only go so far.  It has a ceiling.  A limit.  And here, the One I can turn to for an unlimited supply of love, understanding and patience is standing right here with me through life’s challenges.  Offering to go beyond my capacity if I’d just receive it.

I realized then, that a lot of what was happening was because of my choice.  My choice to hold onto the “depths of my own love” not looking to receive love far beyond my own magnitude.

“And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.  No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.”  Romans 8:38-39

Knowing this, has allowed for incredible freedom as I love my little family.  As lately, I’ve faced some incredibly frustrating points, I am assured that even if I can’t handle it, and my capacity does  have a maximum … His doesn’t.  And He wants to love me (and you) through everything.  All we have to do is …

Receive it.

pic pix: a grainy shot of me and my Juju, August.2014, Sandpoint, ID

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  • September 11, 2014 - 10:09 pm

    Anonymous - thank you i needed that just this moment.ReplyCancel

  • April 24, 2017 - 8:55 pm

    build up the right things. » Sarah Nadine Blog - […] take care of yourself.  I am probably guiltier than anyone for pushing myself passed my capacity (a post from before – how I have been learning about my capacity), trying to reach way beyond my limits, and not […]ReplyCancel

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