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Isn’t it funny how day by day, nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different? – C.S. Lewis

When I started my original blog (back in 2009), I never once thought I could get so busy with my life that sharing my ramblings and ebbs of life would or even could go under the radar.  Or, in other words, it has surprised me that I’ve had such a radio silence over here.  This space has been an area for me to not only process thoughts but refine them.  It’s not just a journal for me, writing words then simply publishing anything that comes to mind.  It’s become somewhere I am challenged to clarify my mind’s chattering and clutter … somewhere I search out what I really mean and find truth to encourage with.  I’ve missed it, to say the least!

In some ways, I don’t even know how to begin because much has transpired between today and my last post (last June!).  Just jumping in may be the best only to get back “into it” persay … how can something so part of one’s life slowly make it’s way to ‘later’ pile?

Instructions for living a life: Pay attention.  Be astonished.  Tell about it.  – Mary Oliver, ‘Sometimes’

Change.  That is the only reasonable explanation I can think of.  Change that has not yet settled me or my life currently.  Change that is still very much up in the air.

For 2017, I was anticipating a lot different results … having Elkan here being number one on my mind.  Last Christmas (2016), I remember talking to him and telling him how next year would be his first Christmas, that he’d already be 5 months old, and so on.  Additionally, I didn’t think we were going to have a garden because we were going to have a summer baby but, did we ever have a garden last year!  A little unruly and not as well planned, but a beautiful, creative expression nonetheless.  Which then led to harvesting – another change in the plans!  What a job that has been and a major learning curve for this gardener-wannabe.

We were praying for another gift of a child … and though we had no idea how things would pan out, we have been graciously blessed with this pregnancy and our newest addition will be here in a couple short months – March 2018!  This is yet, another big change we could have never planned or had control of.  A change that has this mama still unable to completely have her footings at times, in the most excited kind of way!

But at the end of it all, and through all of life’s busy-ness and our lack of control in the midst of it, the changes that came our way last year were hard but beautiful.  Unanticipated but embraced.  Unexpected yet thrilling.  Unfathomable yet no other way teachable.

Change isn’t always going to produce the outcomes we hope for.  Daily, change inhabits our rhythms, but how often do we view it as a gift and not a hiccup?

Like previous years, Matt and I have contemplated over a word that we will strive to improve on and increase in for the specific year.  In 2017, we chose s t e w a r d i n g.  2016, s t e a d y , s l o w , s i m p l e.  For 2015, i n t e n t i o n.  For this new upcoming year, we have come to the word…

p e r s i s t : to last or endure tenaciously; to continue steadfastly or firmly in some state, purpose, course of action

Despite the changes being hurled at us, or the unexpected surprising us, we want to take this year, and endure tenaciously.  Already, I know as we enter the territory of adding another family member to this tribe, we are in for a grande and wonderful delight, let alone ALL the other unforeseen beauties this year has for us.  Sadness, grief, joy, heart swells of pride, pain, delight … this year will be a year we persist through with confidence, with purpose.  

Regardless of what it holds, I want to strive to view it and live life as the gift it is.  So change, c’mon!  Bring it!

 

pic pix: camping in the smoky air, outside of Sand Point, ID,

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PINSummer was our best season: it was sleeping on the back screened porch in cots, or trying to sleep in the treehouse; summer was everything good to eat; it was a thousand colors in a parched landscape…” – Scout Finch, To Kill a Mockingbird

There’s just something about a calm summer’s eve and the other night, we got to experience it.  No wind, the beating hot rays from the sun that hadn’t fully set, kids playing the endless outdoor games, easy dinners on the porch, a little bee-keeping, picking away at the garden til 10pm … the perfect summer eve.  Literally, all that we were missing was a summer peach pie or some cool root beer floats and some nearby water for an after dinner swim.  Every part of the night screamed summer. View full post »

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PINIt’s been a while since I posted what books I am currently learning from, challenging my opinions with, gleaning from, and just plain enjoying!  Different seasons bring out different interests … lately I am finding that novels are a little more out of reach.  I don’t mind a good novel when I get into it, but I feel that I don’t know a good novel until one is recommend to me!  So, if you have any fiction suggestions, please send them this way.  But until then, biographies and non-fictions – rock on! View full post »

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We are at that place again … time for a kitchen re-do??  Last year, at this very same time, we were talking about doing a renovation to our then kitchen.  Fast forward to right now, in the new-to-us house, and we are contemplating the same thing.  The kitchen we are currently in is dated with the oak cabinets and ‘wave-like’ backsplash, but more than liveable at this point.  It’s not a for sure, done deal that we will be able to do it soon, but the dreaming about it has me all giddy! View full post »

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At the start of the year, I had written down some (maybe?!) lofty goals/habits of what I wanted to see change and shape in my day to day rhythms.  Then, after all that happened with Elkan, some of those aspirations were shooed off the radar.  This is all part of my journey that I’ll continue to be on … right up until the day we get to see him in heaven again.  Through it all, amongst navigating what grieving looks and heals like, I am learning that I need to give myself grace and time.  Grace and time to accomplish things that, in my mind, ‘should’ already be done.  Grace and time for my heart to heal.  Grace and time to allow myself to just be … exactly how I feel.

That all said, lately, I feel ready to get involved in my goals again while still giving myself those graces and no expectations of time attached (easier said than done!).  I don’t think I have ever fully written an ENTIRE list of ALL of my goals … that would be too insanely long!  BUT, I’ve noticed a common thread in some overall goals and thought it’d be helpful for me to share some of those achievements I want to reach.  Sharing how I will attempt to reign in some of my bad habits and replace them with some better, healthier ones will also give me sense of accountability – to you, my readers!!

My first lofty goal: getting to bed earlier.  It may not be hard for some, but for me, it most definitely is.  Look through the gallery to read some practical ways I hope to execute this process and chime in th comments if you have any tricks to pass along …

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