Nausea this time around has been the pits. Being pregnant with the boys, I at least felt a bit of relief from the nausea because I’d actually get sick (sounds weird, I know). For the last almost four weeks, I’ve been *literally* laying on the couch all day unless we’ve had to be somewhere important. And to add to the difference, this time around right off the bat, I knew I was in for a bit of a battle with my fears – mainly, fear of labor going the same way it went both times for the boys, fear of post-pardum depression again.
Once we found out we were pregnant, I was over-the-moon excited and SO happy we will be having a fall baby (for some reason, I always wished I was born in autumn). I can’t say I felt fear right away, because of the excitement, but when I felt fear I was able to pin-point exactly what my fears were. When we first started sharing the news with close family and friends, it felt better to talk about them and I kind of put off the act of dealing with the fear and felt good to just talk about it.
Fast forward to my first midwife appointment this week … and here I was, once again sharing my fears. I had actually had all intention of asking for a prescription for diclectin (for the nausea) but seemed to forget once we got talking. Before I continued with any other “updates” on how I was feeling (because I camped out on my fears for a while), my midwife asked, “Have you been super nauseous?”. You don’t even know, I nodded, big eyed. She went on to explain how nausea is a symptom of fear/stress/anxiety … and if I was eyeing up these types of fears, of course I would be experiencing nausea to the extent that I had been. And that little bit of information has given me a HUGE push to actually start dealing with these fears.
Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. – 1 John 4:18
I know nausea is also a symptom that comes along with pregnancy, regardless of fear (so I’m not saying if you’ve experienced morning sickness it’s because of fears) … but I do believe I was letting my fears completely manipulate how I was feeling – like my own form of an anxiety attack. After my midwife appointment, the very next time I felt a wave of nausea, I asked God to cast out this fear and cover me with His love. And I can honestly say, I have not had a 24/7 sick feeling since. I definitely have had stints of it on and off and am still extremely tired, but it’s been NOTHING compared to what these past few weeks have been. Thank you, Jesus.
I’m sharing this with you today, hoping that if you have a issue in your heart that is seemingly overtaking your thoughts … you can experience freedom. be covered in a perfect love. be relieved from whatever it is that is haunting you.
He fills my life with good things … – Psalm 103:5
There is a Father who loves and doesn’t want our life full of poison and other things that make us feel sick, ugly, and gross inside. He wants to fill us with His goodness and His love, casting out all that other garbage. Regardless of where you’re at today, peace can be yours. And like my relief of that terrible, unending nausea … it can be gone instantly.
Reach out to Him, let Him fill you today.
pic pix: mornings with these two in their christmas pjs, Jan.2015, at home