It’s really quite humorous how silly days can get away on you. If I had a deadline to meet today, it just wouldn’t have happened. It took us til nearly 11:3o this morning to get dressed, let alone get out the door to do something! That’s not how it goes every day (thankfully!) but at the end of it, I sometimes wish we could’ve been just a bit more productive. All I can say is, thank goodness for frozen meals & papas who come home after work and save the day by taking everyone out to go tobogganing!!
At a breaking point for me today, out loud, I prayed, “God, give us peace!”. Sure, it may have been a desperate attempt to get through my current state, but it was my hearts cry and He heard it. It wasn’t a euphoric moment …… where I saw a peaceful light drape my living room and the children were magically all smiles, clean faces, and no signs of any tears BUT … my heart changed towards my surroundings and there was a gratefulness in my heart.
I took a quick inventory of my 1st floor – 2 baskets of unfolded laundry, 1 basket half folded in and out on the couch; toys, everywhere; floors, needing a vacuum & mop; dishes, needing to go in the dishwasher full of clean ones; counters, requiring some TLC and needing to be cleared; etc etc. Maybe it doesn’t seem at all a big deal to you, but I really really REALLY dislike living like that. As weird as it may seem, I took a video of it all. Israel in the sling in front of me, Judah & Hunter playing downstairs, christmas music playing, and the mess. When will I ever be able to live in this moment again? Or carry my 9 week old baby around (the mess)? Or just be able to walk down the stairs to see my 2 & 3 year olds playing together? So, of course, I cried. It all of sudden seemed pointless that I even cared about my house and the 15,000 loads of laundry to be done. Being with the boys, on this crazy attitude giving day, in the midst of our mess all of a sudden felt like the best gift I could ever be given.
So, Tuesday, although you kicked me in the butt in more ways than one, I was graced by God today with a grateful heart to enjoy every last bit of it.
pic pix: carrying Isra in the thick of it all, 15.Dec.2015, at home