If there is one thing about me that has never really changed, it would be that I am not a morning person. Sure, I can function (for the most part) and operate just fine (in my opinion), but come 10:00am, ask anyone who has lived or worked with me, I am really awake! Even as a young child, I would prefer staying up later to waking early hours. I remember my brothers going through a phase around the age of 6-9yrs old where they woke up SO early … I never understood it and it clearly bothered me, as I remember it so vividly now – ha! I’ve wondered if my boys will one day go through a spell like that … !!
It just seems there are two camps of people – early birds + night owls. And even though I’ve never considered myself an early riser and I usually go to bed too late to even allow myself to get in the habit of waking with the sun, there is something so refreshing about the quiet. the still. the rousing of a new day. Being someone who loves the late night inspiration it may sound odd, but if I could have it my way, I’d love to be up 2 hours before the kids to: have my morning devotion time, work-out, do my outdoor + indoor chores, have breakfast ready, etc… The thing is, even if I get up at 5:30am (which yes, I do actually try to!!) I am no farther ahead of schedule because I move so terribly s l o w ! I’ve tried extended periods where I force myself to go to bed early at night, or prep everything the night before so that I can just “DO” when the morning rolls around but still … early mornings, at least up until this point in life, are not my getter done time.
All that said, no matter how tired I may be in the morning, there is not one time I can think of that I have risen early then regretted it. On the mornings we do sleep-in until 8:00am, I feel like we’re wasting the day – even though technically speaking, I wouldn’t have accomplished much more being up early anyways! Waking up never disappoints … if anything it refreshes. Perhaps one day, I’ll accomplish my goal of being so productive, but maybe not.
Because all forces seem to be against me to be dubbed ‘morning person'(!!), maybe part of the way I was created was to just be still in the morning. Lingering in the soft light, with no agenda other than to sit. Drinking in my hot coffee, observing the waking colors, hushing my own movements so I can hear nothing but silence. Maybe, just maybe, instead of fighting a make-up that is not originally my own, I should enjoy this quirk about me and not wish it different.
So, yeah, I can do mornings … just slowly.
pic pix: a MID-morning walk, 18.Sep.2016, at home